the pain of beast boy
by numbuh13m
Summary: beast boy did terrible thing, worst then terra, now its all coming back to haunt him, his friends get worried, he ends up in see pines, a crazy house, he becomes evil, insane, but then some one who was suppose top be dead comes for a visit, an is very disappointed, moral is, you cant run nor hide from your past
1. Chapter 1

_"jessy, no, I didnt mean to" 5 year old said full of tears._

_"beast boy you got to go" his older sister, jessy told him, choking back her tears._

_"but..." beast boy started, jess cut him off._

_"No, one hates you, it wasnt your fault" his sister pulled him into a hug._

_"I dont want to leave, I love you, an the others" bb said, completely loosing it._

_"criss is coming, go, one day we will meet again, an dont forget your magic, an ware you came from" jess said giving him a boost, he turned into a bird a flew up, but then herd a scream, an looked down towards his sisters lifeless bloody body, an then was caught an fell asleep._

_when beast boy woke, he relized criss was standing in front of him an criss opens his mouth to say._

_" your all mine now, finally" as criss went into a fit of psychopathic laughter_, beast boy woke up, seeing the time, an relized he had to get up, it was 10:00 am.

before bb dared to make his presence known he he put on his mask to act as happy as can be, an relized the dream, flash back, he didnt keep his promise jessy made him swear, he hasnt practiced any magic, hell have to do that later.

" hey" bb said entering the common room.

"hey, boy, cant believe you been sleeping this whole time" cy said, as he an robin continued there video game match.

"oh, well, good dream, um, wares raven" bb asked nonchalant.

"wares she always is, her room" cy said an bb ran out the room.

"what is wrong with bb, he is acting strange this mourning" star said.

"it beast boy" both robin an cyborg said not daring to take there eyes off the screen.

* * *

bb hesitantly knocked on the door, a few minuets raven answered looking peeved

"beast boy, what could you want" raven asked in a monotone.

"to read, I was wondering if i can borrow one of your books" bb asked praying that she wont ask why.

"why" _'of course' _bb thought.

"I just figured it would be relaxing, may I come in to choose one" bb stated, they way he said it maid raven smirk.

"ok, only cause I promote reading" raven said leading beast boy to her shelf's filled with books.

"beast boy, most of my books are about stuff I dont think your into" raven said an bb smirked behind her back, _'you have no idea how alike I am to you'_

"um, new things are good he said looking at a book to help him release his power but also one that isnt an actual spell book so raven don't get suspicious, an he found one he remembered his sister telling him about, it fools any mortal, among the shadows

"oh, can I read this one" bb practically begged, he still had to make her believe he was just a human with shape shifting powers.

"um, maybe you could read this one" raven handed him a red book that said teen protectors.

"please, this one" raven sighed

"ok, but don't repeat anything in that book, its to dangerous" rae said, bb acted confused but in reality, he knew what she meant, he gave a nod to show he'll do it, an ran to his room, an opened the first page

reading he found out what else he could do, he found out that his magic is still in full tact even after the accident, he was glad, he figured he could use this to find every one, but then remembered it wont be every one, cause his sister Jessy is dead, because of him.

* * *

**I know, beast boy dont have a sister, but, this is my story, don't tell me how to write it,but any way, hope y'all enjoy, please R&R, bye**


	2. Chapter 2

Beast boy was leaning on the side of the tower that faced the lake, an couldn't stop crying, his crying was so loud he didn't hear starfire come up beside him, her heart hurt so much, she hated seeing her friends in pain, she put a hand on his shoulder, he looked up an quickly jumped up an wiped his eyes

"oh, hey star" bb said with a cracked voice.

"beast boy, what is wrong" star said sternly, he looked down a let a few more tears fall down.

"you wont understand" beast boy said refusing to look her in the eye.

"beast boy, please tell me why you cry" star pleaded.

"I cant, just please don't tell the others I was crying, please, don't worry, I am fine" beast boy said faking a smile which by now he was good at this.

"I wont, as long as you promise if your hurt to tell one of us, ether me, or cyborg or robin or raven" star said beast boy nodded then thought

'like raven would give a fuck, she hates my fucking guts'

bb thought angrily as he realized star flew him up to his room, as she said her fair wells an left bb went to his bed, an pulled a box out from under it, opened up, inside was a knife, it had a sharp blade that could pierce the toughest of things, even skin, it had a little dried up blood on it the last time bb used it was right before he became a titan, he just needs a little boost lately, he took it an pressed it against his skin, tears began to disappear with the more pain an the blood dropped to the floor, when he was done he was ashamed but felt no more pain, just regret an shame, he let the blood dry on to the floor as he crawled into his bed to go to sleep, he was just so tired, he couldn't do much more

Beast boy woke up and looked at his wrist it was suppose to only be a one more time thing, but now he has been cutting him self everyday since 2 weeks ago, his friends have noticed his strange behavior, star his so worried she don't know if she should tell the others the truth from that night.

"star" she was deep in thought thinking about beast boy, when robin called her.

"huh" she asked.

"because you and beast boy have been acting strange we cheeked the security tapes, we saw bb, well crying" cyborg said.

"has he talked to you, did he cry cause im always putting him down" raven asked begging he didn't hate her, she really did…

"no" star replied snapping raven out of her thoughts, as the subject at hand came walking in with that huge smile plastered on his face, but that's not what worried his team more, what really worried them was that it was 95 degrees out an he was wearing a huge black sweater.

"hey" rae said giving him a small smile as she flew over towards his side.

"hey" he replied as he got to the fridge.

"beast boy, we need to talk" bb was confused an tilted his head then turned to see what was going on.

"uh, are you ok" cy was the first to speak.

"great" he said, giving a even bigger smile.

"then why were you crying the other night" rae asked as he turned to star right away to say "how could you tell" bb said but robin spoke on behalf of star very calm.

"she didn't, we looked at the security tapes" bb looked down with more tears threatening to spill _'man I really need my knife right now' _bb thought.

"it was nothing, I got upset, isn't every one aloud to get upset" he knew that he sounded mean but he didn't want them to know the truth.

"friend beast boy, why do you ware such a heavy sweater on such a hot day" star asks him as he is about to walk away

'nun ya" bb said an he ran to his room, he pulled out his trusty blade an used it, blood fell to the ground he felt better but he couldn't see, everything began to be blurry an he couldn't stop the blood flow, he fell to the floor blood gushing out

Back at the common room

"I cant take it, ill be back, I gotta cheek on him" to every ones surprise the owner of the voice was raven after they got over there shock they all smiled at raven who gladly returned the smiles

Out side bb's room, raven knocked several times all received no answer, so she decided to faze through the door, when she did she let out a scream, everyone rushed towards the scream, she ran out the door to stop the others.

She whispers in robins ear "I wouldn't let starfire in there if I were you" his eyes widened an whispered to cyborg "hold star back" cy nodded an told star they had to go an get dinner raven only saw a spider, so they left, an raven an robin walked into beast boys room, robin couldn't believe the sight.

"oh no, look, he was cutting himself" robin pointed out "can you heal him" robin asked

"probably, lay him on his back" raven stated as robin did as told she was trying to give energy, which means magically replace his blood that he lost, it's a different from what she usually douse, but she knows she loves beast boy she will do anything for him, she gave a grunt a let some tears fall on beast boys face he coiffed an hesitantly woke up.

"rae…vn" bb said.

"yes" she cried out

"Im sorry" he said as he laid his head down on raven's lap.

"rae, lets put him on his bed" rob said looking down, raven surrounded beast boy with her dark powers an levated him over to his bed when cyborg came in

"star is out there waiting with the pizza, what was wrong" cy asked

"beast boy, cut himself" rob said.

"purposely" cy asked.

"yes, I healed him the best I could we just have to wait till he gots enough energy to wake up" raven said looking around the room at all the dried up blood. "keep star out, I don't think shell be happy, she might get scared" raven stated plainly.


	3. Chapter 3

"glad to see your waking up" robin said.

"what are you doing in here" beast boy asked.

"I was just making sure your ok" robin replied.

"I dont need help from some one who pretends to be my friend" Beast boy blurted out the truth.

"what are talking about" robin was confused, but beast boy looked shocked, an covered his mouth, regretting saying anything.

"robin, I... I didn't, didn't, mean, it, dont" he broke down, an when robin moved closer, beast boy tensed up.

"beast boy, do you think im going to hit you" robin asked appalled at beast boys strange behaviour.

"I dont know any more, you want to know something, I had no one, when I met you guys, I thought I could look up to you, trust you even, then I make one mistake an get threaten to be locked up, I get ignored, but I do some thing that could make you look bad, an now you care" BB looked down, an robin came over washed with guilt.

"ok, I haven't acted like a friend, but I am your friend, im sorry I over reacted with that incident, an, I didn't save, cause I was worried about bad publicity, I was worried about you" robin stood up an when he was almost out the door, he turned back.

"you coming" he asked.

"sure, an im sorry" he said, robin smiled.

"dont be, Im glad you told me, so are we friends" beast boy smiled as he nodded.

* * *

in the common room

"hey, every one, beast boy is up" robin said as they walked in.

"hey, buddy, how you feeling" cyborg asked.

"fine" beast boy said.

"beast boy, why did you do this" starfire asked.

"was it because of the way I make fun of you, cause I dont mean any of it" raven told.

"no"

"is it about what we just talked about" robin asked

"no" BB was closer to tears.

"then why" cyborg asked, BB looked up at each of his friends, he couldn't hold it in any more he shouted.

"BECAUSE, IM A MURDER" he cried out an fell to his nee's, they all took a step back, cyborg opened his armed canon, an starfire's fist an eyes began to glow, dark energy wrapped around raven's fist, an robin took his bow staff out...


	4. Chapter 4

"what" robin asked, in a serous voice.

"Im a murder" BB cried out, "I just told you" he added.

"who did you kill" robin asked.

"my sister" BB vowed his head.

"how" cyborg asked.

"I left her, I should of stayed, but I didn't want to disobey her when she told me to leave, an she died cause I left" BB cried, they all lowered there weapons an Beast boy got confused.

"arn't you gonna put me in jail now" BB asked.

"beast boy you didn't kill her, some one else did, thats why she told you to leave, so you will be safe, she must of loved you" raven told.

"ya think" beast boy wiped a tear away.

"come on, ill cook ya some tofu hamburger things, an you can just take it easy today" cyborg said, patting him genteelly on the back.

"you hate tofu" beast boy said standing up.

"love you more, bud" cy said, as he lead beast boy over to the couch.

* * *

a little ways out of jump city

"yo we need shelter" a girl about 17 said.

"I know" a boy about 20 spoke in anger.

"sorry, ok, I know were all tired an hungry an wet, but the kids aren't feeling so well, excuse me cause I care" the girl crossed her arms.

"Im sorry sis, the heat must be getting to me, do we have any money left" the guy asked.

"not enough for essentials" the girl said.

"how we gunna get money" the guy asked.

"we could perform for dow" the girl suggest.

"ok, lets do that, lets find the citys main spot" the boy said.

* * *

they ended up in what looked like a town square

"there's enough ppl" the guy said.

"lets do, wight n nerdy, but I turn my color red, an u turn gold, when u sing, say gold an nerdy, Ill do red an nerdy"the girl suggested

"ok" as he picked up a beat, with his guitar.

They see me mowin'  
My front lawn  
I know they're all thinking  
I'm so red N' nerdy-the girl started

Think I'm just too red n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too red n' nerdy  
Can't you see I'm red n' nerdy-  
Look at me I'm red n' nerdy!-she raised her hands, then lowered.  
I wanna roll with-  
The gangsters  
But so far they all think  
I'm too red n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too red n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too red n' nerdy  
I'm just too red n' nerdy  
Really, really red n' nerdy-she finished off.

First in my class here at M.I.T.  
Got skills, I'm a Champion of D&D  
MC Escher that's my favorite MC  
Keep your 40  
I'll just have an Earl Grey tea  
My rims never spin to the contrary  
You'll find they're quite stationary  
All of my action figures are cherry  
Steven Hawking's in my library  
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out-the boy said

I got people begging for my top 8 spaces  
Yo I know Pi to a thousand places  
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces  
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise  
I'm a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days  
Once you see my sweet moves you're gonna stay amazed,  
my fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze  
There's no killer app I haven't run  
At Pascal, well, I'm number 1  
Do vector calculus just for fun  
I ain't got a gat but I got a soldering gun  
"Happy Days" is my favourite theme song  
I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong  
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on  
I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon  
Here's the part I sing on-the girl took over

They see me roll on, my Segway!  
I know in my heart they think I'm  
gold n' nerdy!  
Think I'm just too gold n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too gold n' nerdy  
Can't you see I'm gold n' nerdy  
Look at me I'm gold n' nerdy  
I'd like to roll with-  
The gangsters  
Although it's apparent I'm too  
gold n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too gold n' nerdy  
I'm just too gold n' nerdy  
How'd I get so gold n' nerdy?-the boy raped out

I've been browsing, inspectin'  
X-men comics you know I collect 'em  
The pens in my pocket  
I must protect 'em  
my ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored  
Shopping online for deals on some writable media  
I edit Wikipedia  
I memorized "Holy Grail" really well  
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL  
I got a business doing web sites  
When my friends need some code who do they call?  
I do HTML for them all  
Even made a homepage for my dog!  
Yo! Got myself a fanny pack  
they were having a sale down at the GAP  
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap  
POP POP! Hope no one sees me gettin' freaky!-the girl said, hating to admit it, both them were having fun

I'm nerdy in the extreme and at least I ante whiter than sour cream "he's gold" jess talked in a stuck up voice.

I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team!

Only question I ever thought was hard

Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?  
I spend every weekend  
at the renaissance fair  
I got my name on my underwear!-he was laughing alittle to

They see me strollin'  
They laughin'  
And rollin' their eyes 'cause  
I'm so red n' nerdy  
Just because I'm red n' nerdy  
Just because I'm red n' nerdy  
All because I'm red n' nerdy  
Holy cow I'm red n' nerdy-the girl said.

I wanna bowl with  
the gangsters  
but oh well it's obvious I'm  
gold n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too gold n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too gold n' nerdy  
I'm just too gold n' nerdy  
Look at me I'm gold n' nerdy!

"ok, that was white an nerdy, an we did change a few lyrics but, be so kind, give us what we want" the guy yelled, an the people through money up an the girl caught it in an energy ball.

right away, they started singing another rap

Yo, the name is Batty

The logic is erratic,

Potato in a jacket,

Toys in the attic,

I rock and I ramble,

My brain is scrambled,

Rap like an animal but I'm a mammal-the girl turned into a whale an back, an got gasps from the people

I been brain-fried, electrified, infected and injectified,

Vivosectified and fed pesticides,

My face is all cut up

My radar's all shut up

Nurse I need a check-up from the neck up,

I'm Batty-the guy sang

It seems to have no effect doctor-the both said in a stuck up voice

They used and abused me,

Battered and bruised me,

Red wires green wires stuck em' right through me,

So hear my Batty word,

And excersise a little prudence,

When dealing with humans-the girl said with a smirk

*people talking*

Phone call Mr Darwin

All the graduate students please move closer..

Scapel, more nitrous oxide

The eye makeup when inserted rectly seems to have some effect

Remove the brain cap

You notice by dipping the bat in a series of pain..

After a 6 hundred packs of cigeretts

The animal seems to exhibit some..

I said orally- the guy said

OMG I'm reading by my genitals

Insert the electro.. we're losing him

Seems to have no effect doctor

Wait, get me another one.. get me another animal!

Look professor they dance up and down just like elvis

Fine, strap him down, if he moves medicate him,

Medicate him, medicate me!

Seems to have no effect doctor

Thank you nurse,

Why don't you ever call me?-the girl said

*people talking*

Doesn't seem like animals comprehend any pain,

They just get used to it!-the both said but added

"yeah fucking right"

Cause I'm a real fruit bat and I'm ready to rap,

I'm ready to snap,

I suffer from sciatica and chapped lips,

And jock itch,

Like a rocket in my pocket and a need to scratch,

But now I can't stop it,

I'm Batty...-the guy said

I'm a real fruit bat and my logic is erratic,

I'm Batty...

Its my batty rap

Shave his head its just an animal!

My batty rap..

If you just take a little off the sides

Who's Batty? Moi-the both said.

"ok, also, animals are living things, treat em with respect, but come on you know what we want" the girl said, an the same thing happened, this time the guy caught the dow.

they started the next song.

[Verse:]  
No one sits with him, he doesn't fit in  
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him  
Cause you want to belong do you go along?  
Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong  
It's not like you hate him or want him to die  
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide  
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side  
Any kindness from you might have saved his life

[Tag:]

Heroes are made when you make a choice

[Chorus:]

You could be a hero  
Heroes do what's right  
You could be a hero  
You might save a life  
You could be a hero, You could join the fight  
For what's right for what's right for what's right

[Verse:]  
No one talks to her, she feels so alone  
She's in too much pain to survive on her own  
The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife  
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life  
Each day she goes on is a day that she is brave,  
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way,  
Each moment of courage her own life she saves  
When she throws the pills out a hero is made

[Tag]

Heroes are made when you make a choice

[Chorus]

You could be a hero  
Heroes do what's right  
You could be a hero  
You might save a life  
You could be a hero, You could join the fight  
For what's right for what's right for what's right

[Verse:]  
No one talks to him about how he lives  
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his  
Doesn't know he's a leader with the way he behaves  
And others will follow the choices he's made  
He lives on the edge, he's old enough to decide  
His brother who wants to be him is just nine  
He can do what he wants because it's his right  
The choices he makes change a nine year old's life

[Chorus]

You could be a hero  
Heroes do what's right  
You could be a hero  
You might save a life  
You could be a hero, You could join the fight  
For what's right for what's right for what's right

[Rap]-the boy starts an ends  
Little Mikey D. was the one in class who everyday got brutually harassed  
This went on for years until he decided that never again would he shed another tear  
So he walked through the door, grabbed a four four out of his father's dressing drawer  
And said I can't take life no more  
And like that life can be lost  
But this ain't even about that  
All of us just sat back and watched it happen  
Thinkin' it's not my responsibility to solve a problem that isn't about me  
This is our problem  
This is just one of the daily scenarios which we choose to close our eyes  
Instead of doing the right thing  
If we make a choice and be the voice for those who won't speak up for themselves  
How many lives would be saved, changed, rearranged  
Now it's our time to pick a side  
So don't keep walkin' by  
Not wantin' to intervene  
Cause you wanna exist and never be seen  
So let's wake up and change the world  
Our time is now

[Chorus]

You could be a hero-she picks up again an ends the song  
Heroes do what's right  
You could be a hero  
You might save a life  
You could be a hero, You could join the fight  
For what's right for what's right for what's right

as they caught the last bit of money, they saw it was enough for diner an a hotel room, an smiled at each other.

"ok, if you really loved us, we'll be back her tomorrow, come cheek us out" they both got off stage an went to go get the kids from the park

"hey bro, you think we'll ever find beast boy" she asked.

"I hope, we can only hope" he told her giving a little hug.


End file.
